To say it has been a while is a little bit of understatement. The last time that I even looked at this blog was back in May, and although it has been several months I have kept wanting to come back to here. As you know, right as lockdown started I lost my job and Tom’s new job had been postponed. I was honest during those months about my mental health and what some of the triggers for that was. But I held back a little bit on my struggle.
With both of us no longer earning and living in the city centre with high rent, money was a massive stressor for my mental health. We ended up having to go onto Universal Credit, but like so many people who were going through the exact same situation, we got stuck in the queue of new applicants. It took several months for any money to come in and during that time, we still had rent, food and bills to pay. I ended up going to the bottom of my overdraft, and no matter how much client writing I did, I just could not climb out of it.
So, I had a decision to make. What was I going to do next?
Now this became an incredibly difficult question to ask myself. I honestly had no clue as to what I was going to do next. I applied for several marketing positions. I managed to get through to interviews but with so many people applying for jobs during this time, my less than five years experience was not in my favour. Every time that I was preparing for these interviews, I was excited about the concepts that I was creating but I knew that it wouldn’t last into a full-time working feeling. Although I have the passion, I wasn’t feeling fulfilled.
So what was going to fulfil me in life? That is such a big question to ask yourself when in a state of turmoil. Tom and I started to discuss some of the things that I would look for in a career. After compiling a list of what I felt like I needed from a career, I started to narrow some options down and compile a bit of research. It was through this process that I found something.
I am going to be a primary school teacher!
That is what I have been so busy with instead of spending time writing on here. I started the application process, got interviewed by my top picks and was accepted by them. It was an incredible feeling to be able to start working towards something that felt exactly right for me.
There have been a few moments of doubt in my capabilities. I have not worked with children before. The closest thing would have to be the drunks at the bar.
Right now I have completed the first six weeks of university at Bath Spa and am currently on placement with a truly wonderful class, a really supportive mentor, some incredible course mates.
As soon as I stepped into that classroom I knew I had made the right choice.
I cannot wait to continue this journey and continue to build on my confidence within this new role. And now Tom and I are moving into a house in Trowbridge, we have booked our wedding for June next year and we are both on new career pathways. Things finally seem to be coming together and life is getting a little bit less stressful.